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Wednesday, 17 September 2008

  • Crowd-surfing = checked off my bucket list

    So I'm beginning to come to terms with the fact that I'm one of those bookishly eclectic people who keeps a journal and has a time-capsule "treasure chest" and writes bad poetry. Hidden somewhere amongst the poorly made scrapbooks and newspaper clippings, I have a "To Do Before I Die" list. As of last night, I can remove crowd-surfing from the collection of achievements.

    Nate and I took a trip down to Philly for a Flogging Molly concert. Seeing as I'm without photo evidence, you'll have to take my word that it was an awesome time. And I crowd-surfed. I'm sure I looked ridiculous. And it makes me laugh at myself to think about it. I won't be in any way offended should you choose to do the same.

    Other than that- life. It's coming at me out of nowhere. It's already what... week four of school? I'm beginning to contract the much-expected senioritis. I can't believe I'm graduating. I'm not sure I'm ready. I have until May to prepare myself. It wouldn't be so bad if the school itself weren't grabbing me by the throat and telling me to find my corporate career path by December. Every class I'm in is interrupted by Career Services telling us to send in our resumes and come in for mock interviews. Okay, wear a suit, show up on time, don't chew gum, be politely sophisticated, and don't print your resume on the back of a chain e-mail. I got it already. One class is pushing us to start networking and setting goals. Don't get me wrong, I love goals. I've had an ever-changing set of life goals since I was six. But I don't want a career yet. I'm fine with having a job. I'm looking at taking four months out of my life next fall to go abroad. Once I get back I have no idea where I'll be living, much less what I'll be doing there. I feel like people are trying to make something out of me that they think would be good for me, or good for the industry, or good for school, or for their own reputation. I don't like letting people down, but sheesh. I know if you want to get technical, it's not my life- but it's certainly not yours. Just... let me figure all this out.

    Aside from the stresses, I think I'm becoming more and more appreciative of how amazing God's been in my life. For the first time in a while I feel like I'm making steps toward having a relationship with Him that involves letting Him lead me as opposed to correct me when I misstep. I'm finishing school. I've finished a few parts of my life that, up until recently, had pretty much composed my life. I've been blessed with an awesome relationship and the fellowship of the family that comes with it. My own family is still here and still being more supportive than I'm sure I deserve.

    God is good, all the time.
    All the time, God is good.

Thursday, 11 September 2008

  • Coffeehouse ideas, anyone?

    For my capstone entrepreneurship class, "New Venture Creation," I'm spending the semester writing a business plan. At the end of the semester I'll be presenting it to real investors and venture capitalists. I know I felt a calling towards ministry and I'm by no means disregarding that- which is kind of an issue I have with getting so excited over this- but that's besides the point. I need ideas!!

    Basically my mini-dream has been a coffeehouse for the past ever. I've changed it and grown it and expounded on it, but what I have now is a cafe that's based around music and art and all that jazz. I'll post excerpts of the concept draft I had to write...

    "Staccato coffeehouse will exist to create a highly individualized and relaxing atmosphere centered on music and the arts... Fostering the development of local talent and expression, Staccato will host frequent mini-concerts, open-mic style performances, art displays, classes, and other community-related events or performances.
    Staccato will, first and foremost, serve as a focal point to harbor expression of otherwise untapped local talent. It is expected that artists can network and share accomplishments, and members of the community can meet, observe, study, relax- and all can simply enjoy each others’ company. Secondly, Staccato will take advantage of society’s recent awareness of health and fitness. Even with such an awareness having been brought to light, very few “fast” food servers use a truly healthy menu. Being placed in a high-traffic area, Staccato can use the in-and-out café repute to cater to those looking for a better on-the-road health food alternative. This opens opportunities for other health-related events down the road such as classes, speakers, and seminars.
    Because music will be the main characteristic of the Staccato experience, there will always be an upcoming performance or show. Artists will be provided sound equipment, necessary stage props, and an area to sell any merchandise. As long as the size of Staccato’s building allows, there will be a separate room or otherwise isolated area available for reservation for meetings, parties, etc. Other than beverage items, certain café items are expected to be produced in-house to reduce cost and add to the authentic and personal ambiance. Other, more difficult menu items will be bought by the coffeehouse.

    Because of the nature of the coffeehouse, Staccato will use limited advertising. There will be frequent events and performances that will be promoted throughout the music community. Hoping to create “the place to be,” Staccato will use a friendly, relaxing, and open dynamic to welcome new customers and encourage the return of any and all first-time visitors."

     

    Since then it's been suggested that I have a website where people can blog, talk about upcoming events and shows, review events and shows that they've been to, etc. Any other ideas? So far my professor's told me he likes the idea of focusing in on local talent, but he said he gets nervous with businesses that try to create that "buzz" like cafes and sports bars and the like. I'm pretty pumped though.

     

     

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

  • I drug his name through godless places
    And I’ve known shame that no child of His should know
    I’ve seen pain on broken faces, beyond all thought of hope
    I was just too far from home
    Still I always wondered when I closed my eyes...

    After all I’ve done, could He run to me?
    Would He kiss my face? Could He even look at me?
    After where I’ve been, should He take me back?
    I would understand- I’ve disgraced Him
    But it would be amazing if He still calls me son

    With nothing left for me to bring Him
    I left my pride and turned my heart toward home
    I saw my home on the horizon
    And from a distance I saw my Father
    Watching for His own with forgiving eyes

    After all I’d done, He just ran to me
    Then He kissed my face- He would not let go of me
    After where I’d been, He just welcomed me
    I didn’t understand, but He put his robe on me
    It was so amazing that He still called me son

    One day as I breathe my last
    And I know my days on earth have ended
    When every hour is spent
    I will close my eyes in amazement
    And I’ll hear angels- they’ll be singing 

    Cause He will run to me and He will kiss my face
    He will not let go of me
    After where I’ve been He will welcome me
    I won’t understand how He’ll put his robe on me
    It will be amazing that He’ll still call me son

Tuesday, 09 September 2008

  • I could just cry right now. Or... kick myself. It's been a long time since I've felt that I could just go punch a hole in the wall. But no. I just sat there.

    Today in class we split up into groups and analyzed the business possibility for a lady who wanted to start making and selling "biblical jewelry." Of course, the conversation diverted directly to religion and sunday school and old ladies. Fellow students verifying amongst themselves that such jewelry could be sold only at flea markets and church-related functions to the "super religious," they started sharing sob stories of catholic school and kid's church. One guy pointed out that he had a co-worker who was 21 and still a virgin because he was THAT religious. That he wanted to wait until marriage. Another student laughed and said they knew someone like that.

    And I just sat there. Every ounce of me was screaming "Do it. Say something. Anything, just say anything." But I just sat there. A better window of opportunity couldn't have been opened- but I stood frozen on the other side of the room just watching it close.

    I'm disgusted with myself. This is where I am?? And I want to go into ministry??? I can't sit with a group of people at school and stand up against what's being said by my peers. I can't even intelligently throw in a few words to initiate questions and conversation. I'm not even a quiet person, I always talk in groups. I'm supposed to be the one that's on fire and wants to get out and share this with people. But I just sat there. For no good reason. Not even a logical reason. Afraid of rejection from a group I'm not even really a part of. Afraid of "persecution?" Hardly. Afraid of not saying the right words? I guess it's possible... but I've always known that reason is the oldest cop-out in the book anyway...

    How God puts up with me I'll never remotely understand. I feel that words like mercy and grace and forgiveness just don't even say it anymore. It's one thing to love someone who doesn't know any better. But me? I have something that I'm afraid enough or stupid enough or selfish enough to be unwilling to share with other people. I make myself sick. It's almost like I'm afraid to say I'm sorry, let alone ask a "forgive me" or thank Him for dealing with people like me. Because if God's as half as mad at me right now as I am at myself, I wouldn't want to talk to me either.

Friday, 05 September 2008

  • Well, I haven't written in here in quite some time.
    Partly because I've been busy.
    Partly because nobody really reads it anyway.
    But I'm going to write in here again.
    Partly because it's an addiction.
    And partly because I realized I've only ever written in here for myself anyway.


    Wow, so much has happened. In extremely condensed hindsight, I was DC program director this summer and it was absolutely amazing. It still hasn't hit me, though, that after WinterBlast this year... my COH employment could be a thing of the past... That's huge. I've been here every summer since I was 7. And it's the potential end.

    Aside from that, my show season is drawing to a close. States is in a month and a half. And then I have to figure out what I'm doing with the horse. Yet another thing that hasn't hit me yet. All summer, every summer, for yyeaars, I worked towards States. That consumed my days, my weekends, my free time... all I did was ride and show. And after October I may be looking at selling the one teammate who I've worked with from the beginning and who's taken me to probably a few of the greatest physical earthly accomplishments I've ever attained. So not ready for that yet.

    As of two weeks ago, I've started the beginning of the end of my academic career at Wilkes University. Senior year already. Holy... cow... In about 8 months I'll be booted out into what society has deemed "the real world" and made to make decisions like where to live and where to work and how to prepare edible meals. No more classes, no more books...


    On a much happier note, I am dating a wonderfully, totally, completely, unarguably amazing man who occasionally goes by the name of Nate Klein. I would say where we met, but it was very likely in nursery or children's church or something. And I have no recollection of it. Sorry to disappoint. We worked with each other at camp this year and are now both looking into serving with Word Made Flesh in Argentina in the Fall of 2009... happier note #2...

    God is still calling me to ministry and while I'm still not sure when or where or what that entails, I'm unbelievably excited to be looking into such an awesome opportunity. I would go and spend 4 months in Buenos Aires serving the "poorest of the poor," namely street children. Still praying really hard about it, but it's on the table.





    Well that was unexpectedly exhausting...

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    • Name: Lady Elizabeth
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About Me

  • Lover of God, child of His heart, seeker of His will. I will walk through this life, I'll listen for directions, I'll love without reason, I'll sing way too loud, I'll try to make the best, I'll laugh at myself, I won't be afraid and, most of all, I'll pour everything I'm given by God back to the people who He loves and who need what I have more than I do.

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